Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize