I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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