Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
