went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
