so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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