It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Randomize
