My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
her facebook's as public as her vagina
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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