I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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