EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
