oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
