i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
