this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
