OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
