if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
