i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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