i think i have herpe
just one?
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize