I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
