I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
