How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
