I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
