So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
