he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
