Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize