i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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