My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
A bitchslap is in order.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
