she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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