Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
