That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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