You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
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