i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I am one with the molecules
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize