There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
