It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I feel like abortions should bother me more
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
