lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
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About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
