so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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