mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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