I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
i think we sleep fucked last night...
This toilet bowl is my home.
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