Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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