remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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