birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Randomize
