yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Randomize
