Old men and throwing up are my life now.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
