2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I just had sex on a roof
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
