when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Randomize
