If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
