the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize