Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
