We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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