I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
