i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Two words: blizzard sex
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
you never un-have a 4some
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
