This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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