I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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