Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
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