Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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