I think my vagina is haunted
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
