but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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