I'll bet she douches with gravy.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
