im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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