erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
