I cannot find my penis.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
