We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
