He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
