i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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