Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
You're like the curious george of whores
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize