So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
