It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
