My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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