So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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